


Full Time Magizoologist, Part Time Secret Agent Wizard

by pinchess07



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Credence lives, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Graves Lives, Humor, Newt is a secret agent, Panacea - fixes everything, newt to the rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 09:26:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9117691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinchess07/pseuds/pinchess07
Summary: For a prompt at the km:Seraphina Picquery knows the moment Grindalwald!Graves steps inside MACUSA that he is not the real Graves. She has a sinking suspicion about who he is given the uproar about Gellert Grindalwald. She can't risk confronting the imposter head on and so turns to her contact at the Ministry of Magic. Graves' equivalent across the pond, one Theseus Scamander. Theseus is keen to help especially when he hears it involves his old friend, Percival, and sends the best if somewhat unconventional person to do it. Enter one Newt Scamander, Magizoologist by day and ass kicking, name taking wizarding secret agent by whenever he's done feeding his beasts.Bonus for Tina's demotion being part of Picquery's machinations behind the scenes. She needed a skilled Auror with intuition to help Newt out, but not one so high up that Grindal!Graves would care. Another bonus for the real!Graves making a quip about how the situation must have been pretty bad for Theseus and Picquery to send in Newt.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'ed.
> 
> I didn't want to rewrite the whole movie, so just assume that events happened the same way when I don't mention them. If you're hoping for a full scene-by-scene rewrite, this is not that fic.

"Good morning, Madam President," the man says. There's even a small smile accompanying his greeting.  
  
Only her numerous years of experience in the public eye prevents Seraphina Picquery from freezing up. She musters up a smile from... somewhere.   
  
"Good morning."  
  
The man walks off, presumably to the Auror office.   
  
"Well! It's about time he learned some manners," Isadora, her secretary, pipes up.   
  
Seraphina _really_ doubts it. Graves has called her nothing but Picquery ever since they met each other as Prefects at Ilvermorny, and he has stubbornly not changed his form of address even when Seraphina had become President.  
  
She thinks about it all through her first meeting of the day.   
  
_If it's not Graves, then who?_  
  
Who'd want to infiltrate MACUSA?  
  
Well, lots of people with horrible intentions, really. _But who'd have the skills to not only pull it off, but to actually take down her Director of Magical Security in the process? Because there's no way Graves would go down without a fight, and Graves is undoubtedly their best duelist._  
  
The list of possibilities narrows down to one. One Gellert Grindelwald.   
  
No wonder no news has been heard about Grindelwald for the last month. He must have been here, patiently waiting for his chance to take down Graves in a opportune moment.  
  
Last night, Seraphina knows, the Auror force celebrated finally catching an infamous magical arsonist.   
  
The hair on her arms and the back of her neck stand on end. _Did they actually catch the real arsonist or did Grindelwald..._  
  
She shakes her head and makes a beeline for her office after the meeting that she did not hear even a single word of. She locks the door before heading to the fireplace.   
  
There's a chance that Grindelwald has kept her MSec Director alive and she has no time to lose. She throws floo powder to the fire.  
  
"Theseus Scamander, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, British Ministry of Magic!" She intones to the green flames.   
  
\--  
  
If Theseus wasn't so used to his brother's eccentricities, he would have panicked at the sight of Newt being squeezed by a giant, blue-green, winged serpent.  
  
Theseus could barely see Newt's head through the occamy's feathers.  
  
"That doesn't seem very comfortable, brother," Theseus remarks idly.  
  
"On the contrary, it's very warm," Newt replies, voice a bit muffled.   
  
"To each his own. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'd be much obliged if you grant me a bit of your time. I came to ask for help, Newt," Theseus adds.   
  
Newt throws something small and many-legged in the direction of a ceramic teapot on the floor. The occamy chases it, shrinking as it goes,  and makes itself comfortable inside the pot.  
  
"You must be truly desperate to come to me for help," Newt says, cocking his head to the side curiously.  
  
"The Director of MSec has been replaced by Grindelwald, Picquery's just informed me," Theseus huffs.   
  
"...You're not saying I have to duel Grindelwald, are you?" Newt blurts out incredulously.  
  
" _Merlin's beard,_ no! There's a chance that the real Graves is still alive. You need to find him, Your, what did you call them? Team A would presumably come in handy. I've already set up a portkey to a No-Maj ship that's gonna dock in New York in about an hour. It'll make it look like you've been in the ship for the whole trip," Theseus states, narrowing his eyes when Newt stays quiet.   
  
"What is it this time, Newt? Let's hear it, now! There's no time to waste!" Theseus growls. Newt smiles sheepishly.  
  
"I've been keeping an ear on the ground in New York. There's been several incidents of an unexplained destruction of property in No-Majs areas," Newt admits.  
  
"Of course you've heard about...wait! You know what it is?" Theseus demands.   
  
"It's an Obscurus. I want you to promise I can take care of it. I want you to make sure everyone in MACUSA knows to _not_ do anything to hurt it," Newt demands as well, taking a step so he and Theseus are face to face.   
  
Theseus caves and nods resignedly.  
  
"Great! I'll just finish feeding the rest of the occamies before I go," Newt chirps.   
  
\--  
  
Newt averts his gaze from the guy checking the bags of the people unboarding the ship. It makes him look suspicious, he knows, but he takes his fun where he can get it.   
  
The guy's look when he opens Newt's case to the Muggle partition is priceless. Luckily Newt has experience with holding in his laughter.  
  
He strolls down the streets, taking in the view. He has a vague idea of the Obscurus' possible location, and it just so happens that the MACUSA Auror he's supposed to meet is also somewhere in the vicinity.  
  
\--  
  
_Last I checked, being a decent human being wasn't a crime,_ Tina Goldstein thinks angrily. _Even if the person was a No-Maj. ~~Madam President~~ Picquery really didn't need to fire me over that! She's just overreacting! Why did she have to do it in front of everyone, anyway? Demoting me to Wand Permits, on top of it all! Then telling me to stay away from Credence? Hmph. As if that'll stop me from being concerned!_  
  
She takes a vicious bite out of her hotdog.   
  
The horrible woman Credence _shouldn't_ call mother is spewing ridiculous lies again in front of Steens bank. Tina almost zones out, except somehow, Mary Lou Barebone ends up having a very suspicious conversation with an even more suspicious man with a British accent.   
  
Her ~~ex-Auror~~ senses are tingling.  
  
\--  
  
Maynard, his niffler, always jumps the gun, the little bugger. Luckily there's no real harm done. Well, except for involving a No-Maj.  
  
Newt's still trying to catch his breath by the wall alley when he's accosted by a woman.   
  
Who introduces herself as an Auror and proceeds to arrest him.   
  
_The MACUSA president knows what she's doing. Probably. Maybe it's part of the plan._  
  
To Newt's growing surprise, Goldstein barges into what looks like an important (aren't they all) meeting, dragging him with her.   
  
Picquery catches his gaze and nods subtly. Goldstein doesn't notice the byplay, intent on talking to _Graves._  
  
Theseus had shown him a picture so Newt knows what he looks like. Whatever Grindelwald used, the result was a perfect copy of the real Percival Graves.  
  
Where would that kind of man keep a prisoner, if he's so inclined?  
  
He mulls over it, only half-paying attention to Goldstein and her questions. He snaps back to attention once Grindelwald reappears... and then Tina is opening his case.   
  
Only to find pastries inside.   
  
\--  
  
Jacob Kowalski doesn't have an adverse reaction to Murray the murtlap's bite, thankfully. Newt's seen it happen, mostly to dark wizards he's tangled with in the past, and it's not pretty.   
  
The rest of the A-Team, however, are roaming the streets of New York freely. Newt is _mildly_ concerned.  
  
_Not worried at all, what are you saying? Worrying is useless. Worrying means you suffer twice._  
  
Only the knowledge that Goldstein is trustworthy prevents him from running off right away.   
  
Goldstein leads them to her apartment, and Newt meets her ~~terrifying~~ Legilimens of a sister. Queenie Goldstein doesn't say a word about Newt's mission, so Newt assumes she was already in on it.   
  
Jacob seems very taken with her, though, and she seems to like him as well. He silently applauds Jacob's bravery. He would never be comfortable with someone who can effortlessly read his mind.   
  
\--  
  
Gnarlack is _despicable_ but Newt reluctantly hands Pickett over.  
  
\--  
  
Jacob continues to amaze him. His acceptance and open mind regarding magic is a one of a kind _gift._  
  
Jacob does stumble across Newt's Obscurus, though, which reminds Newt of the outside world.   
  
Jacob, bless his Gryffindor heart, agrees to help search for the rest of Newt's A-Team.  
  
There's a billywig from his surveillance team in the corner of his eye, leading Newt subtly in the right direction. Most people, including Jacob, don't notice billywigs, for all that they're bright blue.  
  
Maynard causes his usual amount of trouble, already thoroughly distracted from their supposed mission.  
  
Jacob has a very close call with Sciarra, his erumpent. It would have been truly disappointing if he met his end that way, Newt thinks.  
  
The case locks shut, and rest of the night devolves into chaos, only some of which is Goldstein's fault. Grindelwald rather shows his hand with his comment about the Obscurus' usefulness, and the other MACUSA employees don't even bat an eye when he sentences Newt and Goldstein to death.  
  
Newt strongly suspects they've been imperiused. Pickett, now recovered from his earlier sulk, frees Newt from his chains.  
  
_Tina_ eventually decides to fully trust him in the face of her impending execution. Rosseau, his swooping evil, deserves a treat after all this is done.  
  
Queenie and Jacob rescue them not long after.  
  
\--  
  
Dougal leads them to Gertrude the Occamy.  
  
\--  
  
Newt thinks it would have been nice to have continued the mission in the morning, now that his team is back together (plus three additional humans). Grindelwald bursts that bubble rather spectacularly, and the Obscurus rampages through the city.  
  
\--  
  
_Theseus is a filthy fucking liar,_ Newt thinks as he's electrocuted by Grindelwald in the train tracks.   
  
\--  
  
Queenie and Jacob, both distracted when Picquery and the other Aurors arrive, don't move fast enough to stop Murray from bursting out of the case. Maynard wasn't the only one who's full of attitude, after all.  
  
Newt and Tina are focused on Credence, who's slowly settling down to corporeal form. Murray bites Grindelwald's neck with extreme prejudice, and Gertrude, having followed Murray's lead, binds his arms to his side with a very painful squeeze.   
  
The MACUSA people are all aiming their wands at Grindelwald. Newt does his best to radiate calm for Credence, who's shaking very badly. He lets Tina hug him, though, so Newt turns back to Grindelwald who's still running his mouth off.   
  
He sends an overpowered Revelio at the man at the same time that Murray's venom takes effect. The sight of Grindelwald, with his real face, shooting flames out his backside while wrapped in a blue-green giant serpent, is something Newt will cherish for the rest of his life.   
  
\--  
  
Frank is convinced to help with the mass obliviation, and there's a rather dramatic kiss in the rain not much later.  
  
\--  
  
Newt only truly dedicates his time to looking for the real Graves once Credence is settled into his case for the night.   
  
He asks a favor from Queenie, tells her to stay outside of the cell where Grindelwald is kept.   
  
He shouts one sentence at the dark wizard.  
  
"No matter what you do, don't think about where you're keeping the real Percival Graves!"  
  
It's short work for Pickett to undo the locks on the shrunk and warded trunk in Graves' office.   
  
Percival Graves, bruised and bloody and right fingers broken where Grindelwald had forcefully taken his wand, takes one look at Newt and declares, "They must have been truly desperate of they came to you for help, Scamander the younger."  
  
"That's what I said," Newt sighs as he hands Pickett some woodlice.  
  
\--  
  
Jacob squints at note in his hand. There seems to be something written in the back.   
  
_The murtlap anti-venom you drank might have made the swooping evil venom even less effective than usual. In case you change your mind about opening a bakery, the position for my assistant is open. Newt Scamander._  
  
\--  
  
"Congratulations on the Obscurus, brother mine," Theseus says from the fireplace in the Goldstein apartment.   
  
"Yeah, about that. You said I didn't have to duel Grindelwald, you ass! You can pay me back by producing adoption papers for two Muggle girls for me. And papers for the Obscurus as well."

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaaaa omg here I am again, trying to find the line of OOCness. I'd love to know what you think!


End file.
